The Path I Traveled.  A Testimony.

 This is the story of my journey in the year, 2020.  A path was put before me I never imagined I would ever have to travel.  There were many crooked places along the pathway; places blocked and barred by brass gates and iron bars making the way seem impossible.  It is the testimony of my heavenly Father going before me and straightening out every crooked way on this path and tearing down every barrier.

In the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 45, Verse 2. It is written: “I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight:  I will break in pieces the gates of brass and cut in sunder the bars of iron.” (KJB).

Introduction. For several years, my husband has struggled with several major health issues such as heart and artery disease and out-of-control diabetes. These have progressed with debilitating side effects.  He developed orthostatic hypotension (plummeting blood pressure with certain motions resulting in falls) and vascular dementia.

The Journey Begins.  July 2020.   Richard woke one morning quite confused.  He refused to eat or drink anything. He refused to take his morning medications or allow me to give him insulin.  I begged. I pleaded. I argued. I cried.  Nothing got through. He was non-communicative.   After trying to get his cooperation for several hours, I called our VA doctor.  

 Doctor Conversations. I had several phone conferences with the doctor that morning. The last included his psychiatrist and on speaker.  It was an emotional and difficult conversation.  Richard’s health care needs had gone beyond my ability to care for him at home. I did not want to accept this.  The doctors were patient and understanding with my quiet sobs.  He told me I had to get Richard to the ER. Then he told me the ER doctor would ask if I could care for him at home.  The doctor emphasized it was imperative that I answer “no”.  I resisted stating I can care for him when he is cooperative.  “But he isn’t, is he?”, he said.  “And further,” he continued, “these moments will increase.  You are already over the edge, exhausted.  So, you cannot, and you must tell the ER doctor that you cannot take care of him in your home.”  

ER.  I told Richard the doctor ordered me to take him to the ER.  He got up, grabbed his walker, went outside, and got into the truck without comment, argument, or struggle.  I was shocked.  I expected resistance and even refusal. 

 When asked by the ER doctor why he wouldn't eat or drink or take his meds this morning, he had replied that everything was different.  He didn't know where he was when he woke up.  I had not known that he was disorientated. The doctor asked if I could care for him at home. I replied that yes, I could, if he cooperated.  The doctor responded “Well, he didn't cooperate this morning, did he?!!”  However, there was no medical reason for the ER doctor to admit Richard to the hospital.  He did not know what to do.  He left us alone in the room to discuss it. Rich wanted to go home.  I stood by the bed, put my hands on the railing and said, “Honey, I am not at peace leaving you here; but neither am I at peace taking you home.  I don’t know what to do.” He repeated he wanted to go home.  I bowed my head and began praying aloud. I told my Father I didn’t know what to do. We needed wisdom.  We needed peace. And I asked Him to intervene for us. 

 Hospital. The door opened. The ER doctor entered with another doctor.  He was the hospital doctor.  He examined Richard and asked him some questions.  Based on Richard’s responses to him, he looked at the ER doctor and said, “Admit him.”

My heavenly Father had gone ahead of us and straightened out a very tough rough way on this path.  The ER doctor had consulted with the hospital doctor, who looked at Richard’s records, talked with several of Richard’s doctors (i.e. cardiologist, etc.) and made that decision.  That burden was lifted from us – from me.  Oh, what a great God Rich and I serve, and what a loving, caring heavenly Father we have.  Richard was even okay with this decision.

Nursing Home.  Richard was admitted for observation and assessment.  Even though Covid-19 was making its ravaging rounds, I could visit him every day while he was in the hospital.  After a few days it was determined he needed to be placed in a healthcare facility.  And the doctor so ordered.  Again, the burden of this decision was lifted from me.  I did not make this decision.  It was made for me. I praise God for that.  I do not know as though I emotionally could have made it.  And another very crooked, rough way was straightened out for me by my heavenly Father.

 This was during the outbreak of COVID-19. Facilities were not accepting new patients. God was at work and the hospital social worker found one facility which would accept him. It was not too far from our home. Another crooked way was made straight by my Father.

 It seemed like I was sitting still while everything else moved into place. I did not make major life-changing decisions for us. I did not do research, make phone calls or make arrangements for my husband’s placement in a nursing home facility. These were all orchestrated by my heavenly Father Who knew, not only my heart, but all our needs.

 I look back. I see the rough terrain over which I had traveled. I see the treacherous heights and the dangerous curves. I marvel at the sight.  Because, you see, even before I approached a frightening turn or seemingly impossible height on the way, the place had been straightened and smoothed.  And.  I. did. not. walk. alone.  My Companion walked alongside. When my feet faltered or I stumbled, He reached out and steadied me, guided me.   Oh, yes.  I experienced pain. I grieved. I sorrowed. I do still.  In all of this I know I am loved with a deep, pure, perfect, holy love.  I am comforted and sustained with God’s grace and mercy and power.

Finances.  Ah, yes! Finances.  This would be the next mountain I would encounter on this path. Richard’s retirement benefits healthcare insurance would not pay for long-term nursing home care.  I was advised to apply for Medicaid. To do this, I had to have a New York State approved Power- of-Attorney, signed and notarized form.  The one we had from out of state did not meet this State’s criteria. 

 What to do?  Where to turn?  The path looked ominous. I asked my son if he knew an attorney he would recommend.  He called one and left a message.  A week went by and he had no response.  Time of was the essence. I happened to mention the name of a firm I often drive by when going to town.  My son knew the lawyer.  He was a customer of my son’s business. 

 The Attorney. And so, it happened the attorney knew who we were.  He remembered Richard’s involvement, as pastor, with the youth group.  He recalled Richard running the roller-skating event at the monthly Youth For Christ roller rally. The attorney’s father had been the founder and president of Youth For Christ in Bath, New York, all those years ago. 

 The attorney told my son this area of law was his expertise and of course he would help us.  I sent an email with the information required for the document.  Arrangements for the attorney and me to meet with Richard at the facility had to be pre-approved.  Covid-19 was raging, and visitation restricted.

However, our request was accepted. Another concern was that Richard would be in his right mind, alert, have comprehension and be able to sign the document.  We were taken to a general meeting area at the appointed time. We stayed six feet apart.  The receptionist told me the attorney couldn’t make it but his representative was on her way, and even though her name was not on the list, she would be allowed in.  When she arrived the signing, process began.  She left with the form.  She would notarize it at the office, and I could pick it up on my way home.

 Shortly after I returned home, I received a phone call from the nursing facility.  Covid cases had escalated.  The facility was in lockdown beginning that afternoon. Our appointment had been for mid-morning. The paperwork was all signed before noon.  We had just made it.  

First, an attorney, someone from our past who remembered Richard’s ministry, came along side to help us across this snag on our path.  Second, visitation was secured for the meeting to sign the document.  Third, Richard was in good form, alert, with comprehension and ability to sign his name. Fourth, all this occurred before the facility was forced into lockdown crisis. 

 All this had initially appeared as a huge mountain with impossible twists and turns and brass gates and iron rods barring the way.  My heavenly Father prepared the way, straightened out the crooked places and tore down barriers. And it was accomplished.  

Bank Records. In my meeting with the facility finance officer, I was told Medicaid required five years of banking records for each. I called our bank and requested these copies. There would be a fee.  When I went to pick them up the next day, the receptionist told me they didn’t make the copies because of the cost: $150.00 each set.  $300.00 total.  I had to have them.  I had no choice.  I went back the following day to pick up the copies. She smiled and said the cost for my records had been waived, and the cost for Richard’s records was only $25.00.  I was amazed. I asked how she could do that.  She said, “I know people.” I thought to myself, “I know God – and He did this.”

 Healthcare Retiree Plan.  Richard’s retiree healthcare insurance company called me to confirm information received from Medicaid. He couldn’t speak to me about it because of privacy laws. I emailed a copy of the POA.  A follow-up phone from the company confirmed he would no longer be covered for any medical healthcare under their plan, effective back to August 31st.  Richard’s prescription coverage under this plan was also cancelled. 

 My Healthcare Coverage. I was asked if I wished to remain on Richard’s retiree plan. I assured him I did.  We reviewed the terms and the monthly premium for my coverage.  It was mid-September.  I went merrily on my way thinking all was well with my healthcare coverage.  Not so.

 Several weeks later I received a phone call from the healthcare insurance company.  The representative told me I was not covered.  There was no plan for spousal coverage of a retired employee no longer on the plan.  She saw documentation of previous conversations and said I was given misinformation. It was now the first week of November.  I called back.  The first representative I had spoken to answered. I explained.  He asked if he could take time to investigate this and call me back within 12 hours.  He did and was apologetic but confirmed I could not remain on the plan.

 I determined I would not be afraid or discouraged by this. I would trust my heavenly Father.  It was not an easy thing to do.  I had to consciously convince my mind and heart to not be troubled, but trust in the Lord.  He had given me His Word. The crooked places would be straightened.

My Prescription Coverage.  I called the prescription company associated with Richard’s retiree healthcare plan.  I was assured they had not received any information or instructions for my disenrollment for prescriptions. I was told one prescription was to be processed on November 28^th and shipped out that same day.  I didn’t quite trust this information.

 Office For The Aging.  I was advised by a friend to call our local Office For The Aging concerning my medical healthcare insurance issue.  She took my information and assured me they will help me – I was put on a list.  I would be called back. I will not be concerned.  My Father will take care of this for me. 

 It almost took a week.  The call came in.  I spoke with a wonderful, compassionate representative. She took all my information. Then she informed me that although this was the period for healthcare plan enrollments and/or changes, it is for January of the new year.  She further encouraged me by stating she thought there were special circumstances with exceptions for people such as me who have lost their healthcare plans when the retired spouse is no longer in that plan.  She ended the call with a promise to call within 24 hours.

She did!  And, oh, I was so impressed!  She had called the company.  She had  called the healthcare insurance company.  She had called the prescription company.  She had called the Union!  She had wanted to see what could be done to keep me on the plan.  She suggested I might want to call the Union, if he was an hourly employee, and see if there was anything it could do for me (I chose not to go that route:  Richard was an hourly employee, but not a union member and did not pay union dues – it would not be right).  She gave me the name and phone number of an agent, highly recommended by her agency, who she knows, who works with plans and exceptions, deeply knowledgeable and trustworthy. She had told him my predicament without giving my name, and suggested I call and make an appointment with him.  So, I did.

My appointment with the healthcare insurance agent was scheduled for November 24^th..  We will see what there is out there.  But in this, too, I know God has a plan for me – for us.  He was even then preparing the way.   

 Gap in Coverage.  November 7, 2020.  I received correspondence from the nursing facility informing me of a gap in Richard’s healthcare insurance between the period of his previous healthcare insurance cutoff date, August 31st, and end of services, November 6, 2020.  I would be responsible for his continued care of $580.00 per day.  September 1 through November 6! Sixty-seven days! That came to about $39,000!

 Again, panic wanted to set in. It was the weekend. No way to resolve it until Monday. I prayed, asking forgiveness for unbelief and wavering; asking my Father to increase my faith, to help me believe and trust in Him.  I called on Monday and left a request for a call back.  The call back came Tuesday morning. “I was not to worry”, she told me, “Richard's Medicaid is still in pending status, and when accepted, it would be retroactive back to August 1^st, 2020”.  Another prayer was answered. Another barrier was removed.

My New Ride.  During one phone conversation with Richard, he asked me to do something for him.  I agreed to if I could.  He requested me to look for a more economical vehicle, one easier for me to get in and out of, less expensive to operate and insure, and to sell our 2015 Dodge Ram 1500 pickup truck.  I did not want to do this.  I decided I would not do this. It would be paid off within the next year and I would drive it until either it died, or I died.  I despised shopping for vehicles.  I had never done it alone and was not going to start now. It was a dead issue as far as I was concerned. 

The next evening after work, my son entered my room and asked if Dad and I had discussed replacing the truck.  I was astounded.  Speechless. I hadn’t said a word to anyone.  I just looked at him. Then I told him of our conversation just the night before.  I told my son I knew this was a God-ordained thing; so, yes, we would consider replacing the truck. He told me his son, my grandson, wanted to buy the truck. I laughed. At God’s humor. At His joy.  I was thrilled. 

Several things had to happen.  I had to secure a loan in my own name to purchase a vehicle in my own name.  I had to get the payoff amount for the truck and talk to our insurance agent.  The Power-of- Attorney was necessary in this transaction because the truck was in Richard’s name as was the loan, insurance and registration.  My grandson also had to secure a loan to purchase the truck.  I called the bank Monday morning.  Within twenty minutes of speaking with a loan officer, I was pre-approved for a loan.  I couldn’t believe it.  And it was not contingent upon the truck being paid off.   My grandson was approved for his loan.  Everything was in place. 

My son did all the searching, leg work, phone calling, test driving – everything required when purchasing a vehicle, things I did not know about or know how to do.  Once the vehicle was found and the required information sent from the dealership to the loan officer, loan papers were signed via email, and Insurance was put in place.  All this was accomplished within a matter of, I think, less than two weeks.

November 13.2020.  Friday:  On this date I paid off the truck loan.  Then I went to the dealership and paid for my “new” 2019 Dodge Caravan – my new ride.

Then it was a matter of relaying all this to Richard. I did not know if he would remember our having had this conversation or his asking me to replace the truck with another vehicle. Prior to calling him, I prayed for guidance and wisdom to say the right things without giving him too much information so he would not get confused.

I told him the story, starting with his having asked me to shop around for a vehicle, and I verbally walked him through it all, and ended with telling him that today I paid off the truck.  It was sold.  I also told him I picked up a check to deliver to the dealership for my new vehicle.  I described the particulars of my loan, and the vehicle, and told him I would be picking it up in the morning. He was happy about all these events, impressed with my accomplishments, and thankful for our son's help with all of it. 

He said he wanted our son and possibly our grandson to go through everything in the truck, even the underfloor storage to make sure everything was out of the truck before it changed hands.  I said, “So now here's a surprise: the rest of the story:  a wonderful thing.  Our grandson bought the truck!”  [Silence for a few seconds] Then he said, “You're kidding!”  I said,” Nope!  He got a loan and handed me the check.”  Richard said that he felt really good about it, and was immensely proud of me and my accomplishments.  [This truck had been Richard’s pride and joy.  He had been so proud of it and had genuinely enjoyed driving it and, more recently, riding in it.  Our children knew how much this truck meant to him. When our daughter saw a posted picture of my new vehicle, she called and said, “You sold the truck?!”  I said, “Yup!”  She said, “Mom, that truck meant everything to dad!” She settled and was happy when she heard the rest of the story. For Richard to have asked me to replace “his” truck for something easier for me was huge!]

 November 14, 2020. Saturday: Today was the day my son drove me to the dealership, and I picked up and drove home my “new-to-me” ride!  This was a wonderful bright and happy aspect of my journey. This has been a phenomenally successful and positive event.  

When I got home with my new car, I was surprised to find my daughter-in-law waiting for me. There was a craft show in a nearby town my daughter-in-law wished to go to that morning, but she waited for me to return from the dealership so I could go with her.  We took my new vehicle!  It was a great day!

 Medicaid Application.  Thursday, November 19, 2020. I received a phone call from the nursing home business office. Richard’s Medicaid had finally been approved.  All medical expenses will be covered.  There may be a charge for his prescription coverage of about $33.00 per month, but this may be covered as well.  This approval was retroactive to August 1^st.  There is to be a refund of his Medicare healthcare deduction on his SS income as of August 1, 2020 through, I believe, November, and it will no longer be deducted from his SS income.

My New Medical Healthcare Plan. November 24^th.  This was the appointment with the healthcare insurance agent.  I reviewed plans and prescription coverages with the agent. I asked questions.  He showed me the plan that best fit my situation and healthcare needs.  The monthly premium was unbelievable.  I expected an exorbitant premium amount for a personal plan.  And this plan included prescriptions.  One fallback:  prescription medications are placed on Tiers.  A Tier 3 medicine has a one-time annual cost of $300.00.  I have one such medication.

I told the agent about my prescription conversations.  He asked me to call them right then and confirm the information.  I did.  They did.  The medication to be processed and shipped on the 28^th (November) was this medication.  He advised me to let it ride and see if it really would come through. 

Now this was important.  If this medication did not come through, I would have to have it prescribed in December and pay the $300 annual one-time a year fee.  If it came through, I wouldn’t have to pay the $300 in December and then again in 2021. 

 I liked the plan he recommended for me. I signed up.  My new healthcare plan became effective December 1^st.  I have healthcare coverage. An excellent plan. An extremely affordable rate.

I received a letter from the former prescription company:  my coverage for prescription medications was to end November 30th. 

I received a confirmation email that the prescription medication did process and ship on November 28^th!  It really did process and I really did receive it.  Just under the wire!

 My heavenly Father.  Again.  This was His doing.  His arrangement.  Oh, how He cares for me! Oh, how I love Him. Oh, how I praise Him.

 I look back. I see the rough terrain over which I had traveled. I see the treacherous heights and the dangerous curves. I see brass gates lying in the gutters and the iron rods cast aside.  I see places stained with my tears. I hear the echoes of my sobs and cries for help.  I hear the melodies of my praises reverberating in the hills and mountains.  And I marvel.  Because, you see, even before I approached a frightening turn or height on the way, the place had been straightened and smoothed.  When I approached a barrier, it was torn asunder and thrown out of the way.  And.  I. did. not. walk. alone.  My Savior walked alongside. When my feet faltered or I stumbled, He reached out and steadied me, guided me.   Oh, yes.  I experienced pain. I grieved. I sorrowed. I do still.  In all of this I know I am loved with a deep, pure, perfect, holy love.  I am comforted and sustained with God’s grace and mercy and power.

 Richard and I remain separated by the restrictions of this horrible Covid-19.  Visitation is not possible. We endure the loss of physical joy and comfort of each other’s hugs and even human touch.  We have the love God put in our hearts for each other.  It will remain until death do us part.   

 The path stretches before me.  I know not the way.  But I know Who does.  Amen and amen.

                                                                                                 Diann I. Hayes