The Path I Traveled.  A Testimony.

 This is the story of my journey in the year, 2020.  A path was put before me I never imagined I would ever have to travel.  There were many crooked places along the pathway; places blocked and barred by brass gates and iron bars making the way seem impossible.  It is the testimony of my heavenly Father going before me and straightening out every crooked way on this path and tearing down every barrier.

In the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 45, Verse 2. It is written: “I will go before thee and make the crooked places straight:  I will break in pieces the gates of brass and cut in sunder the bars of iron.” (KJB).

Introduction. For several years, my husband has struggled with several major health issues such as heart and artery disease and out-of-control diabetes. These have progressed with debilitating side effects.  He developed orthostatic hypotension (plummeting blood pressure with certain motions resulting in falls) and vascular dementia.

The Journey Begins.  July 2020.   Richard woke one morning quite confused.  He refused to eat or drink anything. He refused to take his morning medications or allow me to give him insulin.  I begged. I pleaded. I argued. I cried.  Nothing got through. He was non-communicative.   After trying to get his cooperation for several hours, I called our VA doctor.  

 Doctor Conversations. I had several phone conferences with the doctor that morning. The last included his psychiatrist and on speaker.  It was an emotional and difficult conversation.  Richard’s health care needs had gone beyond my ability to care for him at home. I did not want to accept this.  The doctors were patient and understanding with my quiet sobs.  He told me I had to get Richard to the ER. Then he told me the ER doctor would ask if I could care for him at home.  The doctor emphasized it was imperative that I answer “no”.  I resisted stating I can care for him when he is cooperative.  “But he isn’t, is he?”, he said.  “And further,” he continued, “these moments will increase.  You are already over the edge, exhausted.  So, you cannot, and you must tell the ER doctor that you cannot take care of him in your home.”  

ER.  I told Richard the doctor ordered me to take him to the ER.  He got up, grabbed his walker, went outside, and got into the truck without comment, argument, or struggle.  I was shocked.  I expected resistance and even refusal. 

 When asked by the ER doctor why he wouldn't eat or drink or take his meds this morning, he had replied that everything was different.  He didn't know where he was when he woke up.  I had not known that he was disorientated. The doctor asked if I could care for him at home. I replied that yes, I could, if he cooperated.  The doctor responded “Well, he didn't cooperate this morning, did he?!!”  However, there was no medical reason for the ER doctor to admit Richard to the hospital.  He did not know what to do.  He left us alone in the room to discuss it. Rich wanted to go home.  I stood by the bed, put my hands on the railing and said, “Honey, I am not at peace leaving you here; but neither am I at peace taking you home.  I don’t know what to do.” He repeated he wanted to go home.  I bowed my head and began praying aloud. I told my Father I didn’t know what to do. We needed wisdom.  We needed peace. And I asked Him to intervene for us. 

 Hospital. The door opened. The ER doctor entered with another doctor.  He was the hospital doctor.  He examined Richard and asked him some questions.  Based on Richard’s responses to him, he looked at the ER doctor and said, “Admit him.”

My heavenly Father had gone ahead of us and straightened out a very tough rough way on this path.  The ER doctor had consulted with the hospital doctor, who looked at Richard’s records, talked with several of Richard’s doctors (i.e. cardiologist, etc.) and made that decision.  That burden was lifted from us – from me.  Oh, what a great God Rich and I serve, and what a loving, caring heavenly Father we have.  Richard was even okay with this decision.

Nursing Home.  Richard was admitted for observation and assessment.  Even though Covid-19 was making its ravaging rounds, I could visit him every day while he was in the hospital.  After a few days it was determined he needed to be placed in a healthcare facility.  And the doctor so ordered.  Again, the burden of this decision was lifted from me.  I did not make this decision.  It was made for me. I praise God for that.  I do not know as though I emotionally could have made it.  And another very crooked, rough way was straightened out for me by my heavenly Father.

 This was during the outbreak of COVID-19. Facilities were not accepting new patients. God was at work and the hospital social worker found one facility which would accept him. It was not too far from our home. Another crooked way was made straight by my Father.

 It seemed like I was sitting still while everything else moved into place. I did not make major life-changing decisions for us. I did not do research, make phone calls or make arrangements for my husband’s placement in a nursing home facility. These were all orchestrated by my heavenly Father Who knew, not only my heart, but all our needs.

 I look back. I see the rough terrain over which I had traveled. I see the treacherous heights and the dangerous curves. I marvel at the sight.  Because, you see, even before I approached a frightening turn or seemingly impossible height on the way, the place had been straightened and smoothed.  And.  I. did. not. walk. alone.  My Companion walked alongside. When my feet faltered or I stumbled, He reached out and steadied me, guided me.   Oh, yes.  I experienced pain. I grieved. I sorrowed. I do still.  In all of this I know I am loved with a deep, pure, perfect, holy love.  I am comforted and sustained with God’s grace and mercy and power.

Finances.  Ah, yes! Finances.  This would be the next mountain I would encounter on this path. Richard’s retirement benefits healthcare insurance would not pay for long-term nursing home care.  I was advised to apply for Medicaid. To do this, I had to have a New York State approved Power- of-Attorney, signed and notarized form.  The one we had from out of state did not meet this State’s criteria. 

 What to do?  Where to turn?  The path looked ominous. I asked my son if he knew an attorney he would recommend.  He called one and left a message.  A week went by and he had no response.  Time of was the essence. I happened to mention the name of a firm I often drive by when going to town.  My son knew the lawyer.  He was a customer of my son’s business. 

 The Attorney. And so, it happened the attorney knew who we were.  He remembered Richard’s involvement, as pastor, with the youth group.  He recalled Richard running the roller-skating event at the monthly Youth For Christ roller rally. The attorney’s father had been the founder and president of Youth For Christ in Bath, New York, all those years ago. 

 The attorney told my son this area of law was his expertise and of course he would help us.  I sent an email with the information required for the document.  Arrangements for the attorney and me to meet with Richard at the facility had to be pre-approved.  Covid-19 was raging, and visitation restricted.

However, our request was accepted. Another concern was that Richard would be in his right mind, alert, have comprehension and be able to sign the document.  We were taken to a general meeting area at the appointed time. We stayed six feet apart.  The receptionist told me the attorney couldn’t make it but his representative was on her way, and even though her name was not on the list, she would be allowed in.  When she arrived the signing, process began.  She left with the form.  She would notarize it at the office, and I could pick it up on my way home.

 Shortly after I returned home, I received a phone call from the nursing facility.  Covid cases had escalated.  The facility was in lockdown beginning that afternoon. Our appointment had been for mid-morning. The paperwork was all signed before noon.  We had just made it.  

First, an attorney, someone from our past who remembered Richard’s ministry, came along side to help us across this snag on our path.  Second, visitation was secured for the meeting to sign the document.  Third, Richard was in good form, alert, with comprehension and ability to sign his name. Fourth, all this occurred before the facility was forced into lockdown crisis. 

 All this had initially appeared as a huge mountain with impossible twists and turns and brass gates and iron rods barring the way.  My heavenly Father prepared the way, straightened out the crooked places and tore down barriers. And it was accomplished.  

Bank Records. In my meeting with the facility finance officer, I was told Medicaid required five years of banking records for each. I called our bank and requested these copies. There would be a fee.  When I went to pick them up the next day, the receptionist told me they didn’t make the copies because of the cost: $150.00 each set.  $300.00 total.  I had to have them.  I had no choice.  I went back the following day to pick up the copies. She smiled and said the cost for my records had been waived, and the cost for Richard’s records was only $25.00.  I was amazed. I asked how she could do that.  She said, “I know people.” I thought to myself, “I know God – and He did this.”

 Healthcare Retiree Plan.  Richard’s retiree healthcare insurance company called me to confirm information received from Medicaid. He couldn’t speak to me about it because of privacy laws. I emailed a copy of the POA.  A follow-up phone from the company confirmed he would no longer be covered for any medical healthcare under their plan, effective back to August 31st.  Richard’s prescription coverage under this plan was also cancelled. 

 My Healthcare Coverage. I was asked if I wished to remain on Richard’s retiree plan. I assured him I did.  We reviewed the terms and the monthly premium for my coverage.  It was mid-September.  I went merrily on my way thinking all was well with my healthcare coverage.  Not so.

 Several weeks later I received a phone call from the healthcare insurance company.  The representative told me I was not covered.  There was no plan for spousal coverage of a retired employee no longer on the plan.  She saw documentation of previous conversations and said I was given misinformation. It was now the first week of November.  I called back.  The first representative I had spoken to answered. I explained.  He asked if he could take time to investigate this and call me back within 12 hours.  He did and was apologetic but confirmed I could not remain on the plan.

 I determined I would not be afraid or discouraged by this. I would trust my heavenly Father.  It was not an easy thing to do.  I had to consciously convince my mind and heart to not be troubled, but trust in the Lord.  He had given me His Word. The crooked places would be straightened.

My Prescription Coverage.  I called the prescription company associated with Richard’s retiree healthcare plan.  I was assured they had not received any information or instructions for my disenrollment for prescriptions. I was told one prescription was to be processed on November 28^th and shipped out that same day.  I didn’t quite trust this information.

 Office For The Aging.  I was advised by a friend to call our local Office For The Aging concerning my medical healthcare insurance issue.  She took my information and assured me they will help me – I was put on a list.  I would be called back. I will not be concerned.  My Father will take care of this for me. 

 It almost took a week.  The call came in.  I spoke with a wonderful, compassionate representative. She took all my information. Then she informed me that although this was the period for healthcare plan enrollments and/or changes, it is for January of the new year.  She further encouraged me by stating she thought there were special circumstances with exceptions for people such as me who have lost their healthcare plans when the retired spouse is no longer in that plan.  She ended the call with a promise to call within 24 hours.

She did!  And, oh, I was so impressed!  She had called the company.  She had  called the healthcare insurance company.  She had called the prescription company.  She had called the Union!  She had wanted to see what could be done to keep me on the plan.  She suggested I might want to call the Union, if he was an hourly employee, and see if there was anything it could do for me (I chose not to go that route:  Richard was an hourly employee, but not a union member and did not pay union dues – it would not be right).  She gave me the name and phone number of an agent, highly recommended by her agency, who she knows, who works with plans and exceptions, deeply knowledgeable and trustworthy. She had told him my predicament without giving my name, and suggested I call and make an appointment with him.  So, I did.

My appointment with the healthcare insurance agent was scheduled for November 24^th..  We will see what there is out there.  But in this, too, I know God has a plan for me – for us.  He was even then preparing the way.   

 Gap in Coverage.  November 7, 2020.  I received correspondence from the nursing facility informing me of a gap in Richard’s healthcare insurance between the period of his previous healthcare insurance cutoff date, August 31st, and end of services, November 6, 2020.  I would be responsible for his continued care of $580.00 per day.  September 1 through November 6! Sixty-seven days! That came to about $39,000!

 Again, panic wanted to set in. It was the weekend. No way to resolve it until Monday. I prayed, asking forgiveness for unbelief and wavering; asking my Father to increase my faith, to help me believe and trust in Him.  I called on Monday and left a request for a call back.  The call back came Tuesday morning. “I was not to worry”, she told me, “Richard's Medicaid is still in pending status, and when accepted, it would be retroactive back to August 1^st, 2020”.  Another prayer was answered. Another barrier was removed.

My New Ride.  During one phone conversation with Richard, he asked me to do something for him.  I agreed to if I could.  He requested me to look for a more economical vehicle, one easier for me to get in and out of, less expensive to operate and insure, and to sell our 2015 Dodge Ram 1500 pickup truck.  I did not want to do this.  I decided I would not do this. It would be paid off within the next year and I would drive it until either it died, or I died.  I despised shopping for vehicles.  I had never done it alone and was not going to start now. It was a dead issue as far as I was concerned. 

The next evening after work, my son entered my room and asked if Dad and I had discussed replacing the truck.  I was astounded.  Speechless. I hadn’t said a word to anyone.  I just looked at him. Then I told him of our conversation just the night before.  I told my son I knew this was a God-ordained thing; so, yes, we would consider replacing the truck. He told me his son, my grandson, wanted to buy the truck. I laughed. At God’s humor. At His joy.  I was thrilled. 

Several things had to happen.  I had to secure a loan in my own name to purchase a vehicle in my own name.  I had to get the payoff amount for the truck and talk to our insurance agent.  The Power-of- Attorney was necessary in this transaction because the truck was in Richard’s name as was the loan, insurance and registration.  My grandson also had to secure a loan to purchase the truck.  I called the bank Monday morning.  Within twenty minutes of speaking with a loan officer, I was pre-approved for a loan.  I couldn’t believe it.  And it was not contingent upon the truck being paid off.   My grandson was approved for his loan.  Everything was in place. 

My son did all the searching, leg work, phone calling, test driving – everything required when purchasing a vehicle, things I did not know about or know how to do.  Once the vehicle was found and the required information sent from the dealership to the loan officer, loan papers were signed via email, and Insurance was put in place.  All this was accomplished within a matter of, I think, less than two weeks.

November 13.2020.  Friday:  On this date I paid off the truck loan.  Then I went to the dealership and paid for my “new” 2019 Dodge Caravan – my new ride.

Then it was a matter of relaying all this to Richard. I did not know if he would remember our having had this conversation or his asking me to replace the truck with another vehicle. Prior to calling him, I prayed for guidance and wisdom to say the right things without giving him too much information so he would not get confused.

I told him the story, starting with his having asked me to shop around for a vehicle, and I verbally walked him through it all, and ended with telling him that today I paid off the truck.  It was sold.  I also told him I picked up a check to deliver to the dealership for my new vehicle.  I described the particulars of my loan, and the vehicle, and told him I would be picking it up in the morning. He was happy about all these events, impressed with my accomplishments, and thankful for our son's help with all of it. 

He said he wanted our son and possibly our grandson to go through everything in the truck, even the underfloor storage to make sure everything was out of the truck before it changed hands.  I said, “So now here's a surprise: the rest of the story:  a wonderful thing.  Our grandson bought the truck!”  [Silence for a few seconds] Then he said, “You're kidding!”  I said,” Nope!  He got a loan and handed me the check.”  Richard said that he felt really good about it, and was immensely proud of me and my accomplishments.  [This truck had been Richard’s pride and joy.  He had been so proud of it and had genuinely enjoyed driving it and, more recently, riding in it.  Our children knew how much this truck meant to him. When our daughter saw a posted picture of my new vehicle, she called and said, “You sold the truck?!”  I said, “Yup!”  She said, “Mom, that truck meant everything to dad!” She settled and was happy when she heard the rest of the story. For Richard to have asked me to replace “his” truck for something easier for me was huge!]

 November 14, 2020. Saturday: Today was the day my son drove me to the dealership, and I picked up and drove home my “new-to-me” ride!  This was a wonderful bright and happy aspect of my journey. This has been a phenomenally successful and positive event.  

When I got home with my new car, I was surprised to find my daughter-in-law waiting for me. There was a craft show in a nearby town my daughter-in-law wished to go to that morning, but she waited for me to return from the dealership so I could go with her.  We took my new vehicle!  It was a great day!

 Medicaid Application.  Thursday, November 19, 2020. I received a phone call from the nursing home business office. Richard’s Medicaid had finally been approved.  All medical expenses will be covered.  There may be a charge for his prescription coverage of about $33.00 per month, but this may be covered as well.  This approval was retroactive to August 1^st.  There is to be a refund of his Medicare healthcare deduction on his SS income as of August 1, 2020 through, I believe, November, and it will no longer be deducted from his SS income.

My New Medical Healthcare Plan. November 24^th.  This was the appointment with the healthcare insurance agent.  I reviewed plans and prescription coverages with the agent. I asked questions.  He showed me the plan that best fit my situation and healthcare needs.  The monthly premium was unbelievable.  I expected an exorbitant premium amount for a personal plan.  And this plan included prescriptions.  One fallback:  prescription medications are placed on Tiers.  A Tier 3 medicine has a one-time annual cost of $300.00.  I have one such medication.

I told the agent about my prescription conversations.  He asked me to call them right then and confirm the information.  I did.  They did.  The medication to be processed and shipped on the 28^th (November) was this medication.  He advised me to let it ride and see if it really would come through. 

Now this was important.  If this medication did not come through, I would have to have it prescribed in December and pay the $300 annual one-time a year fee.  If it came through, I wouldn’t have to pay the $300 in December and then again in 2021. 

 I liked the plan he recommended for me. I signed up.  My new healthcare plan became effective December 1^st.  I have healthcare coverage. An excellent plan. An extremely affordable rate.

I received a letter from the former prescription company:  my coverage for prescription medications was to end November 30th. 

I received a confirmation email that the prescription medication did process and ship on November 28^th!  It really did process and I really did receive it.  Just under the wire!

 My heavenly Father.  Again.  This was His doing.  His arrangement.  Oh, how He cares for me! Oh, how I love Him. Oh, how I praise Him.

 I look back. I see the rough terrain over which I had traveled. I see the treacherous heights and the dangerous curves. I see brass gates lying in the gutters and the iron rods cast aside.  I see places stained with my tears. I hear the echoes of my sobs and cries for help.  I hear the melodies of my praises reverberating in the hills and mountains.  And I marvel.  Because, you see, even before I approached a frightening turn or height on the way, the place had been straightened and smoothed.  When I approached a barrier, it was torn asunder and thrown out of the way.  And.  I. did. not. walk. alone.  My Savior walked alongside. When my feet faltered or I stumbled, He reached out and steadied me, guided me.   Oh, yes.  I experienced pain. I grieved. I sorrowed. I do still.  In all of this I know I am loved with a deep, pure, perfect, holy love.  I am comforted and sustained with God’s grace and mercy and power.

 Richard and I remain separated by the restrictions of this horrible Covid-19.  Visitation is not possible. We endure the loss of physical joy and comfort of each other’s hugs and even human touch.  We have the love God put in our hearts for each other.  It will remain until death do us part.   

 The path stretches before me.  I know not the way.  But I know Who does.  Amen and amen.

                                                                                                 Diann I. Hayes

New Life, Quilting and Old Life Health Challenges

This year, 2016, has passed like a withering flower.  Here today, withered tomorrow, and gone the next.  And again, we continue to learn to live, adjusting to new aspects of Living A New Lifestyle.  A particular highlight has been the birth of our first great-grandchild, Kelsey Marie.  A new title:  Great-grandparents.  I wish it could affect me much more than it does--she lives a good distance away, and we see her only once or possibly twice a year.  But there you have it:  great-grandparents.  An honor, a privilege.  And Papa and I are seeing her for the first time, and loving on her.

And, now she is 5, almost 6 months old.  We get to see her over the Thanksgiving celebration holidays.  I am so thankful for the modern technology of Facebook, and keeping up and seeing her grow.

It is interesting, this
New Retirement Life. I shall continue to refer to this as our "New Life of Retirement" because it changes every day.  It's different every day.  Every day is new. I continue with my quilting, knitting, crocheting, crafts, and...can't leave out reading.  One of my best achievements this year is the finished quilt I made for my son's birthday gift.  The story behind this is that after I had given our granddaughter a quilt for college graduation, and later one to our daughter-in-law, he commented "So where's mine?!"  So...I made one for him as a birthday gift, with a coordinated throw pillow cover to go with it.    An unknown person once said and I quote  "We are creative because we are made in the image of our Creator." 

We've had some interesting and challenging aspects of health to deal with these last couple of weeks.  My husband had total right hip replacement.  The surgery was great, but there was a complication with a severe negative reaction to the anesthesia.  This was a setback in planning for physical therapy.  He was then admitted to a physical therapy rehabilitation facility for a week of in-facility PT, which then continued at home.  Just as he finished that aspect of PT, we went to the hospital by ambulance as he was having pain and severe vomiting.  Tests showed gallbladder stone in the bile duct.  Another MRI a few days later showed that the stone had evidently passed, so Richard was discharged.  Instructions included that if there was anything at all that reoccurred, he was to go directly to a hospital further away but with personnel who could deal with this.  Yes.  it happened again, and we went to the hospital.  I drove over 70 miles to get there while he retched, continuously during the drive.  He was admitted, and scheduled for an endoscopic procedure which would include the removal of stones.  Surgeons were ready to perform the gallbladder removal the following day.  Everyone was surprised by the outcome.  The gallbladder was fine and happy.  No stones in the bile duct (although in the gallbladder, but not causing any trouble).  The stones the surgeon removed were in the pancreatic duct.  Scar tissue had attached to the pancreas, and that's where the stones are.  Richard has chronic pancreatitis and will learn to live with it for the rest of his life.  We will be speaking to a pancreatic surgeon and specialist in a few weeks.

I am not sure what we are going to do about continuing with physical therapy.  Anyway, on the lighter side, I wrote a little fun story because very few people had ever even heard of a "pancreatic stone", and perhaps I will include it soon as a separate post.  

So, yes, we continue to learn living our new lifestyle.  The exceptional, extraordinary and the unexpected, the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.  It changes every day.  It is new every day.  And I am so thankful because God is in every new day. 

It is of great comfort, it is a source of incredible peace and confidence that we know our Heavenly Father.  We know He is in control of whatever touches our lives.  He is the Source of our comfort and peace and confidence.  Because of all that Jesus Christ did, and that we believe in Him and apply His death and resurrection to our lives, God has made us His children.  He is our Father.  He cares.  He loves.  He given us courage and He gives us His power to overcome whatever comes. "Without Him" we really can do nothing...can't even handle what life throws at us.  But with HIM, we can do this thing called "life".

Wow.  It has been a long time since I've been here on the Blog site.  My title, Creating A New Lifestyle, has not yet found a conclusion.  The roadway of this life has many turns and twists, and no matter what plans you have, what arrangements you have made for those plans, what dreams you may have, the road twists, and one finds that abrupt and severe changes must be adopted.  It is wonderful to know, that I am not the one in charge.  Therefore, I need not panic.  There have been questions, concerns, and "what if's".  It has, rather, been interesting, and see how the One in charge had already smoothed out the torn up roadway, and made the crooked way straight.  I am so happy to say that because I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I have been adopted into God's family.  He is my Heavenly Father, and He is the One in charge. 

So the last time I wrote, we were considering a life change due to my husband's open heart surgery; and, as a consequence, a change of diet.  Since that first surgery, he had to have four more, all in a matter of six months.  Hence, he could no longer work and had a forced retirement.  In a short time, because he could not be left alone, he went to live with our youngest daughter and her family, a distance of about 3.5 hours from our present residence.  I traveled weekends to be with him, and maintained our home and my job.  That, too, took a sudden twist.  The law firm found it necessary to cut employee hours and wages; and because my dad and my husband had medical needs, it was decided that I, too, should retire earlier than planned.  I moved in with my husband and daughter's family.  That was, I believe, in 2012.  

And once again, we adjusted our lives to accommodate a new and completely lifestyle, living with children.  How blessed we were.  Our children wanted us.  They wanted to help and wanted us near them.  But I had no job.  I didn't know what to do with myself.  Yes, I had my crafts, sewing, creating, quilting, but not working left a tremendous void in my life.  I broke down.  My daughter sat on the steps with me and asked the question:  "Do you think your job defined who you are?"  I shook my head in the affirmative as tears rolled down my cheeks.  I discovered that I had to redefine myself.
God worked on my heart and my mind.  To me, it was undergoing spiritual surgery.  I had to left all that I was, had been, behind.  I was still Wife.  I was still Mother.  And best of all, I was Grandmother.  I focused on the grandchildren.  Bonds were developed that otherwise would not exist.  Being a part of their lives and seeing them grow and develop is greater than any amount of salary ever could have been.

We traveled to our oldest son's home in western New York State, and it seemed that each summer we stayed longer and longer.  Richard worked on some projects our son had for him to do around the house.  Then, out of nowhere, he and his wife asked us if we would come and live with them--get to know their children before they all grew up.  After a lot of discussion, and mostly prayer, once again our Heavenly Father, smoothed out what seemed an impossible mangled roadway, and we relocated from the South, back to the North.  Yup.  From the warm, sunny South, to the North where winters can be brutal.  

I have come home.  I am so content here.  Nothing dramatic has changed in my daytime hours.  I have my crafts, my sewing, my quilting.  I read and otherwise entertain myself.  But I am home.  Their oldest had already graduated college and moved south where she obtained employment as a high school honors math teacher.  Their oldest son was a high school senior.  We were so blessed to be a part of his life, his sports, his successes, and his graduation, and to see him go off to college.  Their younger son is in high school, and it is fun to be a part of his life, watching him develop academically, musically, and as an athlete in soccer and basketball.  Their youngest is eleven years, and is challenged with Downs Syndrome.  She is amazing and a tremendous blessing.  It is a privilege to interact with her and to be a part of her life.

Yes.  Our roadway has had many unexpected twists and turns.  Our Father has been involved in every bit of it, going ahead of us, and "where there seemed to be no way, He made a way." 

Quite recently, we experienced an episode where we had to take Richard to the ER.  He was diagnosed with a severe UTI and an infection in the E coli family.  He was there four days, and released.  A day or two later, we took him back to the ER after speaking with a doctor, because of some pretty serious debilitating back pain.  The doctor had mentioned that (1) the antibiotic may have stopped working, or (2) the infection may have spread.  On the way to the hospital, I began thinking of all that could be involved if the infection spread.  Immediately, I was reminded by my Father that I do not have to go there.  I do not have to have these thoughts or let them discourage me.  He is the One in control, and He gives peace and rest and comfort and courage when all are needed.  I rode the rest of the way in complete peace, and sat in the ER waiting, knowing He, my heavenly Father, is in control.  He was diagnosed with lumbar muscular sprain, given pain meds, and sent home.  I love my Father so much. 

A Precious Treasure

Well, that was March and now it is almost May.  My life of "retirement" has taken on quite a different route than I had imagined.  Last October, we traveled from our home in North Carolina to Orlando, Florida, to attend a niece's wedding and enjoy a mini-reunion with my husband's sibs.  From there we traveled to Louisiana to visit with our youngest son and his family for a few months, including celebrating the incoming of the New Year.  We no sooner returned home mid-February and just a week or so later received a phone call from my sister stating she desperately needed my help.  She is the primary care-giver of our elderly father, and was facing a health challenge of her own.  She was scheduled to have surgery the following Tuesday.  We left the next afternoon following her phone call to me, and traveled to her home in Missouri.

My sister's surgery was a miracle - a huge success which even surprised her doctor.  I have continued to stay with her  through her recovery time and also to be on "Dad Duty" while she and her husband take a short vacation to visit their youngest daughter's family and see their brand new grand-baby.   

Half Square Triangles laid out on living room floor

While staying in Missouri, I took on a new challenge.  My sister is an avid seamstress and quilter, and encouraged me to make a quilt.  Now, prior to this, and although a seamstress of sorts myself, I had always shied away from any sort of quilting.  I had erroneously thought that to make such a thing would be a life-time project.  She smiled and  gave me fabric squares she won at a drawing.  She taught me, mentored me, stood by me and walked all the steps right along with me.  

When the fabric squares were presented to me, I, at first, could not think how these colors would all come together--pinks, oranges, purples, blues, greens in the same batch--not what I would have chosen.  But I kept on and came up with a plan.  I made the HST (half-square triangles), as shown above.  I learned how "to square".  Oh, did I ever learn how to square!  And ironing every seam is one of the most important steps.  I learned all about precision and matching seams...and tearing out and redoing.  

Brown fabric for sashes and backing

To further encourage me and have some fun, my sister took me to visit the Missouri Star Quilt Company.  While there, I discovered the fabric I wanted to use as sashes and the backing,  a beautiful brown laced with black scrolling.  

I learned how to treat the fabric - washing, drying, stretching, ironing, and finally measuring and cutting for the sashes.  As the sashes were sewn to the blocks, the quilt was transformed before my eyes.  A beautiful blending of bright, cheerful colors warmed by the brown.  

Sashes sewn in and border added

I added the brown border.  Then, with my sister's suggestion, and using left over fabric from the HSTs, I made a border of colors.  Again, surprised at how this added to the magic of the fabric picture I was creating.

Machine Quilting

We went to a Quilting Day at her church.  I met some wonderful, fun "girls".  They all brought their sewing machines, and quilting projects.  This group gets together once a month.  They help each other, make suggestions, enjoy each other's company and laugh a lot.  One of them assisted us with the placing of the backing, matting and quilt top together with spraying on the basting glue.  And, now I was all ready to start the actual quilting process.  During the process of  sewing the squares, blocks, sashes and borders,  I tried to figure how I would be able to get this quilted - where, who, time, and cost.  I never imagined that I could do this myself, using a home sewing machine.  I thought this would be for small projects, such as table runners, wall hangings, and the such.  So, here I am, much to my surprise, quilting real bed-size quilt at my sister's home, using her home sewing machine.  Imagine my surprise!

Quilting design on border

 I learned the technique of using a stenciled pattern, applied to the fabric by a marking pen.  The ink disappears when the fabric is ironed.  I traced a stencil design on all the sashes and brown borders, as shown to the left, and then stitched it by machine.  

Finished with matching throw pillow cover

I saw a beautiful fabric picture come together before my very own eyes. I cannot express my excitement when the final stitch was made and the quilt was finished, including a hand-embroidered label (shown below), and a matching throw pillow cover. How proud I am to display them. 

Hand embroidered label

I am now so ready to take on another quilting project.

 While working on this quilt, I have been impressed at how like my life this is.  God chose the Pattern - His only Son, for me to be likened to.  God chose the design and the colors ( I may wonder from time to time how the colors He chose will ever come together).  He added sashes and borders to expand my life experiences and broaden my spectrum. Everything He chose for me was for my good.  Seams have had to be ripped out - that was my doing in the distorting of His design for me.  He had to iron and re-iron the seams to straighten out the creases and wrinkles I had made in resistance to His working on me.  Only as the fabric yielded to my touch, my gentle pull, my care, stenciling, sewing and the putting of it all together, it became a beautiful finished quilt, and to me a precious treasure; and so my life, as I yield to Him, will become all that He has purposed for me.    

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Moving On

It's been a year and half since that first post.  The surgery required retirement from employment.  Not only had our lifestyle eating habits and delights changed, but now living arrangements would also be impacted.

We relocated to our youngest daughter's and son-in-law's farm.  This was a mixed sweet and sour emotion for me as I was not ready to leave my home or employment, but so blessed to have a wonderful place to go to.  We would be living with one daughter's family and a lot closer to another daughter's family.  So wonderfully blessed with loving people and on a small family-operated farm.  Leaving old friends and moving on to new.  Leaving the old church and getting into a new one.  Leaving the job and not getting a new one.   I crashed emotionally.  My daughter asked a question and my answer showed that I thought my job defined who I was--I needed to rediscover myself in this new world.  Being near the grandchildren is a huge plus and involving them in various craft projects is a light and joy in my life.

Getting back to the diet thing.....We learned, through the experiences and trials of my dad who has had heart problems, surgeries and stents, that all dietary changes are not necessarily for the best.  The secret is in applying moderation to all food intake, particularly with salt and spices.  Without salt, there is a futuristic problem of a saline deficiency which creates another whole world of health issues.

The salt is back on the table as are other eatables that had been excluded and are used with moderation.  We ARE eating healthier with a higher concentration on vegetables and fruits and an exceptional creative daughter who has added "juicing" to our daily diets.  Her creations are wonderful and delicious,  The specialized juiced drinks do not replace meals by any stretch of the imagination, but add a delightful liquid snack to our daily eating routine.

On the farm, we enjoy the comfort and life of family, the healthy benefits of our garden, our own home-grown beef and pork void of all the steroids commercial foods contain.  And the best part of all..........

I don't do any of the cooking!  What a way to live!

Creating A New Lifestyle

Okay, so now I am trying to be as creative as I can with discovering, finding, and making new recipes, after many, many years of just simply cooking or preparing simple meats with some thought of cooking for a diabetic, and without thought of cooking for a healthy heart. My husband had open heart surgery - which was a great shock to both of us.  Following the surgery came a stern directive of what to and not to eat.

 We now have to rethink and relive the rest of our lives.....without fat, sugar and salt. What else is there? 

Shopping is a new experience and it takes two and a half hours to just pick up a few things after checking labels, comparing contents and looking at expiration dates. I am exhausted when I get home. I had little appeal for cooking to begin with and this has destroyed any that I did have. I am not a good cook. I have not, in my own opinion, ever been a good cook.  Oh, let's face it - I am simply not even a cook.

My challenge is HUGE at this point in my life. My husband has been spoiled with getting basically exactly what he wanted for meals and I learned very early in our marriage that I could not "plan meals" per say. He would often call midday and ask what I had planned for supper and then tell me that he wanted something else, which I would prepare for him (our family.). So, today, at this stage in our lives, not only am I frustrated with the shopping and meal planning at this point, for a husband I dearly love, who is a diabetic and is currently recuperating from open heart surgery, but I am frustrated with him as well. He is not eating...some of which can be blamed on the surgery, but most is, I fear, the lack of spices.  He has said, "it's bland--it tastes like cardboard". Although I can never remember fixing or serving cardboard for a meal.

I put salt substitute on his platter along with "Mrs. Dash," but he won't use it. We have talked some. And I have told him that things cannot be as there were, and he cannot have just what he likes. There is some hope for me - for us. I found a great recipe on line for "Crockpot Meatloaf" which fits into all his categories. Not only am I proud that I actually found it, and fixed it, but HE LIKED IT. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions with recipe ideas - easy to prepare, nothing fancy, and normal-type food. Any ideas?